Are Unicorns Real?

I’m feelin’ the Bern…!


Everyone who knows me, or my writings, knows I’m about as conservative as it gets. When I became eligible to vote in 1970, I immediately registered as a Republican. Between then and now, though I’ve on occasion voted for “third-party” candidates, I’ve never voted for a Dem/socialist. In fact, in the entire panoply of Democrat politicians, I’ve only ever been aware of two I’d have considered actually voting for prior to today: Zell Miller and Jim Webb.

Going one step further, when the GOP nominated John McCain as their candidate in 2008, I was so disgusted with that result that I quit the GOP and re-registered as “Decline To State” (DTS), California’s equivalent of “Independent”. I even resigned my Life Membership in the NRA over their decision to endorse McCain. That’s how strongly I feel about actual traditional American conservative values and principles; McCain was certainly NO conservative.

So in light of all of that, what’s happened to make me cast my vote today for “the Bern”, Bernie Sanders, self-avowed socialist candidate for the Democrat presidential nomination?

A unique and unlikely confluence of events.

First, California’s goofy and Byzantine election laws permit DTS voters to simply choose at the polling place whether or not they want to vote in any particular party’s presidential primary, and those laws leave it up to the parties to determine for themselves whether or not they’ll allow DTS voters to vote in their primary. This year, the Democrats have chosen to allow DTSers to do so, and the Republicans have chosen not to do so.

Further, as of now that’s actually pretty irrelevant as to the GOP, since Donald Trump has already won enough primary victories to secure the GOP nod, and his opponents have withdrawn from the race. That’s a done deal. So even if it were possible to vote in the GOP primary, why would I even bother?


My hand doing the formerly unthinkable

However, there’s much to be gained by participating in the Democrat primary!

If the Bern were to somehow, magically, secure the Democrat nomination, that would almost certainly guarantee a November defeat for that repugnant party. And, of course, there’s that “other” candidate, Her Royal Arrogance Hillary Clinton. I so thoroughly despise her that it’s almost impossible to pass up the opportunity to throw a few banana peels in the path of her haughty march to the Dem convention in Philly in July. Maybe one of those banana peels could be a Sanders win in California. How could I possibly pass that up?

And so… I did it. I actually cast a vote for a self-avowed socialist Democrat. It didn’t feel as weird as I thought it would, and the hand I used to cast my vote didn’t fall off my wrist or develop blisters, much to my surprise.unicorns

So consider this: if I could cast this vote, is it really out of the realm of possibility to think that someplace on this big planet there is actually a herd of unicorns prancing around?




©Brian Baker 2016

(Also published today in my local newspaper, The Signal:

12 comments on “Are Unicorns Real?

  1. clyde says:

    They do that same thing here in Michiruit. Only it’s called an “open” primary, so all the libtards here run in and vote for the weakest R they can think of. I would have done the same thing. Give Bernie a vote to try and trip up Super Bitch. Of course, leave it to the GOPe to devise a way to snatch defeat out of the jaws of victory. I still believe today’s GOP needs to go the way of the ancestral party, and do not much care if some “conservatives” think I’m a traitor, an asshole, or worse. Been in THAT movie. Good one.

  2. captbogus2 says:

    My 2 cents… Bernie Sanders was put up to running in the primaries just so Hillary would have a viable opponent that she could kick sand on. But somewhere along the way things went wrong and Bernie got to thinking he actually had a chance and took the bit in his teeth, so to speak, and ran for the gold. Not that he ever had a chance because the “Super Delegates” were always the party’s ace in the hole. Bottom line is Hillary will walk away with the nomination, as had been planned all along, but with a couple of black eyes ala Bernie Sanders and an entire party that wishes they had chosen someone else this go around. They are so worried that Trump ain’t agoin to play nice ala McCain and Romney and she has to be the one to tip toe around the campaign because she has a smorgasboard of baggage so no matter what line she takes to smear Trump she is already on record for having done much worse.

    • BrianR says:

      Well, I guess it’s possible, Buck, but I think the Bern’s a True Believer. He saw an opportunity because Ms. Piano Legs is such a lousy candidate, and he went for it.

      He’s not much of a “team player” by nature and history.

  3. captbogus2 says:

    If my theory is correct, “Not much of a ‘team player’ is a slight understatement”.

  4. Grey Neely says:

    I have never voted for a Democrat on the national level (although I have voted for a Democrat who I knew personally on the local level; i.e., county and city). However with you, Brian, voting for a Democrat/Socialist on the national level, I am starting to get afraid of going out into the Mississippi swamps. All my life I have heard about the Rougarou (or Loup-garou), the Cajun half man/half beast who lives in the swamps. I don’t know about them fancy unicorns; but consider this: if Brian could cast this vote, is it really out of the realm of possibility to think that someplace in the Louisiana and Mississippi swamps there could actually be a Rougarou running around? And what about Big Foot?

    I think that I need to purchase more guns and ammo. This is getting serious.

    • BrianR says:


      Better watch yer ass out in those hinterlands!

      • Grey Neely says:

        Good to come by Brian, I have been so busy lately with family and work, I haven’t been able to do much more than read your last two articles. I hope you and yours are doing well.

      • BrianR says:

        Yes, thanks, and the same to you and yours.

        Today was the munchkin’s last day of kindergarten. Man, does time fly by!

  5. CW says:

    In politics, when our principles can’t advance our objectives sometimes we must rely on strategy. As long as we don’t lose sight of those principles, it’s all good.

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