Ahoy, Netflix Users!

I’m sure that, like me, over the years you’ve received notices in the snail-mail and email that you’re magically a member of some class-action lawsuit that you’d never heard of before, and that you had several options, including objecting to the proposed settlement, removing yourself from membership of the class, doing nothing and just accepting the outcome, etc.

Yesterday I received email notification that I was a member of a class-action lawsuit against Netflix, and there was a proposed settlement.

If You Are a Current or Former Netflix Subscriber
A Class Action Settlement Could Affect You

Para una notificación en Español, llamar 1-866-898-5088 o visitar www.VideoPrivacyClass.com

Our records show that you were a current or former Netflix subscriber as of July 5, 2012. We are emailing to tell you about a Settlement that may affect your legal rights. Please read this email carefully. Go to www.VideoPrivacyClass.com for more information.

A Settlement has been reached in a class action lawsuit that claims Netflix unlawfully kept and disclosed information, including records on the movies and TV shows its customers viewed. Netflix denies that it has done anything wrong.

Blah, blah.

You can go to the sites linked in the notice to read all about it if you haven’t already received your own notification.

Well, here’s my response, in this particular case:

Brian Baker
XXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXX
Saugus, CA   91390
661-XXX-XXXX

31 July 2012

Clerk of the Court
United States District Court for
The Northern District of California (San Jose Division)
Robert F. Peckham Federal Building
280 South 1st Street
San Jose, CA 95113

Jay Edelson
Rafey S. Balabanian
Ari J. Scharg
Chandler R. Givens
Edelson McGuire LLC
350 N. LaSalle, Suite 1300
Chicago, IL 60654

Keith E. Eggleton
Rodney G. Strickland
Dale R. Bish
Wilson Sonsini Goodrich & Rosati
650 Page Mill Road
Palo Alto, CA 94304

In re Netflix Privacy Litigation, No. 5:11-cv-00379-EJD

Sirs:

I am a member of the settlement class.

I strongly oppose the proposed settlement of this case as it currently stands.

As stated on the litigation website, the attorneys who filed this suit are going to get 25% of the $9,000,000 settlement, which my math tells me is $2,250,000, plus $25,000 “expenses”. Not a bad payday at all.

The six “named plaintiffs” are going to rake in $30,000 each.

Some unnamed “charities” are going to divvy up the rest of the pot.

The rest of us peons – the folks whose “rights” have supposedly been violated – are going to get exactly bupkes.

Where I come from, there’s a word for that: “bullshit”.

No wonder lawyers are considered the scum of the earth. Have any of you morons considered that maybe there’s a more appropriate way to compensate the rest of the peasants? How about a rebate of part of our monthly dues? Anything? Bueller?

I’ve never before been part of a class action lawsuit – either willingly or unwillingly – in which the settlement didn’t recompense ME in some way, as the supposedly “injured party”.

If any of you cretins have any questions, don’t hesitate to contact me… assuming you can communicate in common parlance. If not, let me know ahead of time and I’ll try to have an interpreter handy who speaks Idiot.

(Signed)

___________________________________________________

Who the hell do they think they’re kidding? The lawyers saw a big payday, dug up a few jerks who saw a chance to rake in some bucks for themselves, and went to town. This is along the same lines of all the El Cheapo commercials you see on basic cable all the time put on by leech law firms trolling for “victims” of drugs, medical devices, vitamins, whatever.

Sonorous voice: “I am a non-attorney spokesperson. If you have ever blah blah blah and suffered blah blah blah, then you should call Dewey, Screwem and Howe IMMEDIATELY at 1-800-IMA-JERK to assure that your rights to compensation have blah blah blah…”. Ambulance-chasing at its worst.

Feel free to join in to the protest if you’re a “member” of this lawsuit. Have fun with it.

I did!

©Brian Baker 2012

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38 comments on “Ahoy, Netflix Users!

  1. CW says:

    Don’t worry, Brian. You’re going to get something. You’re going to get an increase in your monthly fees when Netflix passes the cost of the lawsuit on to it’s customers.

  2. captbogus@yahoo.com says:

    Gives one some insight as to why lawyers were not allowed to charge for their services in the early years of this country’s life and until only about 40 or 50 years ago were prohibited from advertising on the airwaves or in the tabloids.

  3. Mr. Thompson says:

    I have been named a member of this class action lawsuit; I agree wholeheartedly with you view; always the privileged 1% rake in huge profits off off the other 99%. Netflix and other large organizations such At t, Sprint, Verizon and Tmobile have been ripping off the public without any kiss or grease for years; first with rates and surcharges and other fees no one can adequately explain not even the Government whom is one who rakes in money on our bills; of course our information is sold over and over again among st the conglomerates our habits are tracked so they can better liberate as much money from us a possible; our spending habits are tracked; our politics are tracked; every time we use the internet we are tracked by some entity out there in cyberspace. So what do we do and how do we go about getting rid of this huge invasion or privacy; this com-mentor says very little; it is too far gone and over top. We the people have long given up our freedoms to special interest groups big business and of course our non-defacto corrupt government; there is no such thing as we the people, for the people, of the people and by the people anymore; the social contract which is commonly known as the constitution has become non-grata or simply a piece of paper to been amended and manipulated by the obscene super rich. As long as there is Nintendo; Xbox, Netflix, time Warner, sports, entertainment, drugs, or any other mind altering substance out there in the world people will remain; stupefied, mummified, brain washed, sheep led out to pasture and back to the slaughter houses. In better words as long as we the people keep allowing ourselves to be bamboozled, hoodwinked and fed fools booze; the game of monopoly will continue at its present rate of speed until we all perish and drown in our own mess; or should I say feces.

    • BrianR says:

      Oooooookay…

      I think you got a little sidetracked there…

      But thanks for taking the time to post your thoughts.

      • Mr. Thompson says:

        I am happy to agree to disagree with anyone; my focus is always laser in scope; to the heart of the matter; I found not doing so allows me to get caught up in the spin; of lawyers big bankers and the likes of Netflix; and their corporation lawyers; in essence I was and am not sidetracked simply expanded my thinking online to share with all of you; and again; I agree with you wholeheartedly; I am referring to the page that I looked up using google; where you were speaking your mind about the greed of the lawyers and us little guys not getting anything; 25% of 9 million dollars I believe you said roughly comes out to about 2.25 millions dollars to be split between the blood suckers and I so not so nicely refer to the parasites. so my point; while I might seem to went over the deep end I actually said what you were saying in a much more broader and all encompassing way. In short; none of this can happen if all the people wise up as you are wised up. Touche to you and your blog; and thanks for allowing me to share and to be a part of this experience. I might have hit the wrong box; I am replying to BrianR.

      • BrianR says:

        And thank you for taking the time to comment, Mr. Thompson.

      • Mr. Thompson says:

        You are welcome; I like the joke about lawyers. Have a great day; Well; I have one questions; I like to know about the NetFlix case; if we members of the case will not be compensated; why were we added as part of the suit in the first place. What is the benefit.

      • BrianR says:

        Well, they have to be able to claim they’re representing all the affected members in order to get certification as a “class-action” lawsuit. The members are the “class”.

        That’s what’s so disgusting about the whole thing. We’re dragged in, whether willingly or not, but we get NOTHING for being members of the suit. I had never heard of such a thing before, hence my rather pointed objection.

  4. gunnyginalaska says:

    What famous man once said, “the first thing we do, we kill all the lawyers.”

    I could not agree more.

  5. Dafne says:

    i love your posts, but i like this one more than the others, so i read it all over again.http://www.boliche.com.br/email.htm

  6. Jim says:

    What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
    Skid marks in front of the snake.

    What do you call 1000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
    A good start!

    What do you call 1000 lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
    Not enough sand!

    What do you call a Law convention?
    A target rich environment.

    Aren’t Lawyers fun?

  7. Danile says:

    your website is the most informative. i loved your website a lot. thank you.http://www.busquemail.com.br

  8. clyde says:

    Great post. It’s like the morning news program we watch here,every other ad is for some law firm. While I have nothing against lawyers earning a good living for what they do,these suits are stupid. I had one that came to me and said if I joined in,my recompense would be $53.28. When I did the math for the attorneys,they got 75% of the ENTIRE settlement. Love the TV ads where the schmuck says “I called Sam,and he got me $2.3 MILLION dollars”. I always say to the lovely Mrs.Clyde,the schmuck got $67.62 AFTER Sam took HIS cut.

  9. Mr. Thompson says:

    Good afternoon; Brian; I re-read you post to my long tirade the other day; and I am still in stitches. You are a funny man; and I am better by it. Thanks keep up the great work; you are needed./ LOL!!! you reply was very funny; and yes I was a little over the top; I was pissed; and I vented; thank ;you again.

    • BrianR says:

      LOL, Mr T.

      Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I tend to have a very sardonic view of things, and it’s always gratifying when people get my sense of humor.

      BTW, nothing wrong with being over the top, and POed. Hell, me too!

  10. Daiani says:

    nice information, many thanks to the author.http://www.kitsucesso.com

  11. clyde says:

    I couldn’t tell you. Those go straight to the shitcan. My “computer goddess” daughter, who is a senior systems administrator,and cheif tech officer for her firm,says if you don’t know,throw.

  12. madamewells says:

    So…im just a lowly stay at home mom and all but everything i see has different addresses to send to requesting to be excluded. Could you kindly just give me the one correct address.and please forgive my text. I am on a touch screen phone lol thank you. And i got a real kick out of your letter.

    • BrianR says:

      Hi, madamewells.

      No problem on the texting; it’s perfectly clear. And thanks for the kind words.

      Unfortunately, you have to send your request to all three addressees; one’s the court, one’s the plaintiff’s counsel, and one’s the defense counsel.

  13. Anonymous says:

    So, do the scum sucking lawyers get less if I either object or request exclusion?

    • BrianR says:

      Unfortunately, no. The only hope is that if enough people protest the agreement, the judge will toss it entirely.

      • BillB says:

        That’s what I figured…they make money no matter what. I guess I’ll send in my objection and ask everyone I know to to object as well.

      • BrianR says:

        Great, Bill. That was exactly my hope in posting the essay.

  14. Hi there! I’m at work surfing around your blog from my new iphone!
    Just wanted to say I love reading through your blog and look forward to all your posts!
    Carry on the superb work!

  15. Julian says:

    Thanks for finally talking about >Ahoy, Netflix Users!
    The View from the Island <Loved it!

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